6 conversations · 6 ready to practise
How to talk to an employee about absence and lateness
Kind and clear, in the same sentence.
Kyle · picker on the early shift
The one who’s always five minutes late
Five minutes here, eight there. Six times this month.
Jade · care assistant
Back again on a Monday
Her third short absence in ten weeks. Two were Mondays.
Callum · trade counter assistant
Your score’s hit the trigger
He’s hit the trigger, and he’s ready for a fight.
Leah · room attendant
Sorry, I can’t sign off that week
She’s already booked the flights. You can’t give her the week.
Rob · night shift lead in a supermarket back of house
"I’m fine, honestly"
Your most reliable shift lead hasn’t been himself for weeks.
Ade · reach truck driver
Back after losing someone
He’s back after his dad’s funeral and wants to crack straight on.
Practice for reflection, not legal or HR advice. If it involves harassment, discrimination, health or safety, talk to HR or ACAS.
Practise it before you say it
They’re back on a Monday again, or late for the sixth time this month, and the chat is yours to do. Go in too soft and the rest of the team notice. Go in too hard and a good worker feels accused. These six are the attendance conversations most supervisors meet, with someone on the other side who has a reason they haven’t told you yet.
Average absence has reached 9.4 days per employee a year, the highest in more than 15 years.
CIPD with Simplyhealth, Health and wellbeing at work, September 2025Two-thirds of managers say they’re uncomfortable communicating with the people they manage.
Lou Solomon, Harvard Business Review, March 2016 (survey by Interact and Harris Poll)How it works
- Pick the conversation. Each one is an everyday situation from shops, warehouses and shift work, with one person on the other side who has their own reasons.
- Talk it through. Type what you’d say. They answer the way people do: they deflect, go quiet, or open up when you get it right. Up to eight turns.
- Hear how it went. Our AI coach reads the whole conversation and tells you what worked, where it slipped, what to say instead and the one thing to practise. Then try it again.
We don’t store what you type; our AI provider processes it to reply. Use a made-up name for the person you’re thinking of.
Reading before the conversation
- The Standard You Walk Past Is the Standard You AcceptWhy the small thing you let go becomes the rule.
- The Difficult Conversation Script: A 5R ApproachA simple shape for the conversation you’ve been putting off.
Questions people ask
Who are these for?
Supervisors, team leaders and shift managers who hold return-to-work chats, absence reviews and holiday decisions. The characters come from warehouses, care homes, shops and hotels, but the conversations travel.
Which one should I start with?
The one coming up this week. If none is, start with the one who’s always five minutes late: it’s the easiest to leave too long, and the same skills run through all six.
Is this advice on our absence policy?
No. It’s for practising your words, not for deciding what your policy allows. Absence, health and disability all have rules that depend on your contract, your policy and the law. Check with HR, and in the UK ACAS has free, plain advice.
Can I do the same one twice?
Yes, and the second go is usually the one that lands. Your first go at each conversation is free. Each go after that, including trying the same one again, uses one BOM Credit.
Credits here are BOM Credits: packs from 10 for £3 to 100 for £20, and one code works across every coach tool on the site. Full refund within 14 days if you haven’t used a BOM Credit. Anything wrong, email [email protected]. How BOM Credits work