Practise this conversation
How to have a performance conversation you’ve been putting off
The first time you have one shouldn’t be the first time you’ve said the words.
Sophie is waiting for you
Before you go in
Sophie is friendly and customers love her. She’s also been late four times this month, her till has been short twice and a delivery was left in the cages. You’ve said nothing for six weeks, and now you’ve asked her for five minutes before her shift.
Good luck.
Your goal
Get the problems out in the open without souring things, and agree what on time means from Monday.
Up to 8 turns, about five minutes, then feedback from our AI coach. Your first go at this conversation is free. After that, one credit a go (packs from £3).
Want the full rehearsal? (Pro, 6 credits for both)
What you’ll practise
- Owning that you should have raised it sooner, in one sentence, then moving on to what happens next.
- Naming the pattern with two or three specific examples and what each one caused for the shift.
- Agreeing what good looks like from tomorrow and when you’ll sit down again to review it together.
Your goal
Your free go at this one is used
One credit runs the whole conversation
Each new go costs one credit: a full conversation with Sophie and the coach’s feedback. Your free go at the other conversations is still there.
No code? Get BOM Credits, from 10 for £3. Your code comes by email and works across the coach tools. Full refund within 14 days if you haven’t used a credit.
What worked
Where it slipped
Say this instead
One thing to practise
Read next
Show the conversation
Ready for the real one?
Rehearse it with Sophie until you’re ready
Practise the conversation until it feels like the second time, not the first, and walk in with your best words.
- Two full rehearsals: up to 20 turns each, out loud or typed
- On the second, a hint from the coach after each reply
- Your own best lines on a card to take in with you
With the Best value pack (50 credits), 6 credits is about £1.45 · $1.90 · €1.70 · A$2.90. After that, one more go with hints is 2 credits. Private: use made-up names, and nothing you say is kept.
What we keep: nothing you typed. Your conversation stays in your browser and goes to our AI coach only to write the next reply and your feedback. Use a made-up name for the person you’re thinking of. The feedback is written by AI from your conversation and is a second pair of eyes, not a verdict on you.
Practice for reflection, not legal or HR advice. If it involves harassment, discrimination, health or safety, talk to HR or ACAS.
The full picture
Sophie is friendly, customers love her and she's never had a bad word said about her. She's also been ten minutes late four times this month, her till has been short twice, and the delivery she was meant to put out on Saturday was still in the cages on Monday morning. You've noticed every time and said nothing, because she's nice, the shop was busy and it never felt like the moment.
It's been six weeks. Now it's not one small thing, it's a pattern, and the rest of the team has noticed you haven't said anything. The longer you've waited, the more it feels like you're about to ambush her. You've asked her for five minutes in the back office before her shift.
Why it's hard
Your silence has told her everything is fine, so the conversation will feel to her like it came from nowhere. The temptation is to empty the whole list at once, because you've been carrying it for weeks, or to soften it so much she doesn't realise it's serious. There's also your own part in it: you let it go, and she may well point that out. Owning that in one sentence, without letting it cancel the message, is the skill. The other part is choosing. You don't need every example. Two or three clear ones, and what each one caused for the team or the customer, will do more than a full list ever could.
82% of people who enter management have had no formal management and leadership training.
Chartered Management Institute with YouGov, Taking Responsibility, October 2023Two-thirds of managers say they're uncomfortable communicating with the people they manage.
Lou Solomon, Harvard Business Review, March 2016 (survey by Interact and Harris Poll)What usually goes wrong, and what you'll practise
What usually goes wrong
- Saving everything up and reading out the whole list, so it sounds like a case against her rather than a conversation with her.
- Wrapping it in so much praise that she leaves thinking it was a nice chat and nothing needs to change.
- Getting pulled into an argument about one example ("there were three of us on that delivery") instead of staying on the pattern.
What you'll practise
- Owning that you should have raised it sooner, in one sentence, then moving on to what happens next.
- Naming the pattern with two or three specific examples and what each one caused for the shift.
- Agreeing what good looks like from tomorrow and when you'll sit down again to review it together.
Read before you practise
Questions people ask
Is it too late to raise it after this long?
No, but say that it's late. A short "I should have said this sooner" takes the sting out and keeps the focus on what happens next.
Should this be a formal meeting?
A first conversation like this is usually informal: private, calm and specific. If your workplace has a formal process, check with your manager or HR before you mention it.
Credits here are BOM Credits: packs from 10 for £3 to 100 for £20, and one code works across every coach tool on the site. Full refund within 14 days if you haven't used a credit. Anything wrong, email [email protected]. How credits work