10 conversations · 4 ready to practise
How to talk to your manager
The ask you’ve been rehearsing on the way in, said out loud first to someone who answers back.
Michelle · store manager of a high-street clothes shop
Asking for a pay rise
You’ve been doing more for a year. Your pay hasn’t noticed.
Tom · shift manager in a distribution centre
I want to step up
You want the next job. You’ve never actually said so.
Steve · manager of a busy high-street café
A day off tomorrow
You need tomorrow off. You’re asking today, and the rota’s already short.
Lorraine · manager of a residential care home
Changing your hours
Fewer hours, different days, an earlier finish. Whatever it is, you have to ask.
Nathan · team leader in a contact centre
Working from home, or more flexibly
Two days at home. Your manager’s been told to get everyone back in.
Angela · department manager in a large supermarket
Time off when it’s busy
A week off in December. In a supermarket. Good luck.
Dev · general manager of a chain restaurant
Asking for more hours
Sixteen hours doesn’t pay the rent. You need thirty, and the budget’s been cut.
Paul · manager of a regional distribution depot
Owning up to a mistake
Four hundred units, wrong store, your initials on the sheet.
Fiona · head housekeeper in a 120-room hotel
A problem with a colleague
You finish their rooms. They snap at you for mentioning it. Time to tell Fiona.
Ian · manager of a small branch of a building supplies firm
Too much on your plate
Two jobs, three months, one you. Something’s going to drop.
Coming soon
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Practice for reflection, not legal or HR advice. If it involves harassment, discrimination, health or safety, talk to HR or ACAS.
Practise it before you say it
You know what you want to say. You’ve run it in your head on the drive in, and in there your manager always says yes. Then you get to the door and it comes out as a complaint, or an apology, or not at all. These ten are the conversations most people have with a manager at some point. On the other side is a manager with a rota to fill, a budget they don’t control and a boss of their own, who answers the way managers do. Say it badly here first.
Two-thirds of managers say they’re uncomfortable communicating with the people they manage.
Lou Solomon, Harvard Business Review, March 2016 (survey by Interact and Harris Poll)82% of people who enter management have had no formal management and leadership training.
Chartered Management Institute with YouGov, Taking Responsibility, October 2023How it works
- Pick the conversation. Each one is an everyday situation from shops, warehouses and shift work, with one person on the other side who has their own reasons.
- Talk it through. Type what you’d say. They answer the way people do: they deflect, go quiet, or open up when you get it right. Up to eight turns.
- Hear how it went. Our AI coach reads the whole conversation and tells you what worked, where it slipped, what to say instead and the one thing to practise. Then try it again.
What we keep: nothing you typed. Your conversation stays in your browser and goes to our AI coach only to write the next reply and your feedback. Use a made-up name for the person you’re thinking of.
Reading before you ask
- The Difficult Conversation Script: A 5R ApproachA simple shape for the conversation you’ve been putting off, whichever side of the desk you’re on.
- The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries Without Burning BridgesHow to hold a line with someone you still have to work with tomorrow.
- 9 Traits of Quiet Confidence That Build Instant TrustSure of yourself without the speech.
Questions people ask
Who are these for?
Anyone who works for a manager and has something to ask or admit. The managers are written from shops, warehouses, care homes, hospitality and small offices, but the conversations travel. You don’t need to be a supervisor, and you don’t need an account.
Which one should I start with?
The one you’ve been putting off. For most people that’s the pay rise, which is why it’s first. If it feels like too much, do the promotion one before it: same muscle, saying plainly what you want and why, with a bit less riding on it.
Will my manager react like this?
Not word for word. Each character is a manager with pressures of their own: a rota that’s short, a budget they don’t set, a boss of their own asking questions. Yours will have different ones. The moves that work are the same: say what you want in your first sentence, bring a plan, and make it easy to say yes.
Is this advice on what I’m entitled to?
No. It’s for practising your words, not for working out your rights. Pay, hours, time off and flexible working all have rules that depend on your contract and the law where you are. In the UK, ACAS has free, plain advice on all of them, and your contract or staff handbook comes first.
Can I do the same one twice?
Yes, and the second go is usually the one that lands. Your first go at each conversation is free. Each go after that, including trying the same one again, uses one Ask BOM credit.
Credits are the same as Ask BOM credits: packs from 10 for £3 to 100 for £20, and one code works across every coach tool on the site. Full refund within 14 days if you haven’t used a credit. Anything wrong, email [email protected]. How credits work