Practise this conversation
How to talk to an employee who can’t say no
Greens don’t argue. They go quiet, say it’s fine, and carry it. The skill is slowing down enough to hear what they’re not saying.
Priya is waiting for you
Before you go in
Priya says yes to every swap and has covered four extra shifts this month. Mistakes are creeping in: wrong promotion prices, out-of-date stock on the shelf, a short click and collect order. She says it’s fine. You’ve asked her for ten minutes in the canteen before her shift.
Good luck.
Your goal
Let Priya know you’ve noticed she’s stretched, and help her find an easy way to say no to the next swap.
Up to 8 turns, about five minutes, then feedback from our AI coach. Your first go at this conversation is free. After that, one credit a go (packs from £3).
Want the full rehearsal? (Pro, 6 credits for both)
What you’ll practise
- Opening calmly, saying she’s not in trouble, and naming what you’ve noticed with care.
- Asking open questions, then giving her time to answer without jumping in.
- Making it safe to say no, and agreeing one change she chooses herself.
Your goal
Your free go at this one is used
One credit runs the whole conversation
Each new go costs one credit: a full conversation with Priya and the coach’s feedback. Your free go at the other conversations is still there.
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What worked
Where it slipped
Say this instead
One thing to practise
Read next
Show the conversation
Ready for the real one?
Rehearse it with Priya until you’re ready
Practise the conversation until it feels like the second time, not the first, and walk in with your best words.
- Two full rehearsals: up to 20 turns each, out loud or typed
- On the second, a hint from the coach after each reply
- Your own best lines on a card to take in with you
With the Best value pack (50 credits), 6 credits is about £1.45 · $1.90 · €1.70 · A$2.90. After that, one more go with hints is 2 credits. Private: use made-up names, and nothing you say is kept.
What we keep: nothing you typed. Your conversation stays in your browser and goes to our AI coach only to write the next reply and your feedback. Use a made-up name for the person you’re thinking of. The feedback is written by AI from your conversation and is a second pair of eyes, not a verdict on you.
Practice for reflection, not legal or HR advice. If it involves harassment, discrimination, health or safety, talk to HR or ACAS.
The full picture
Priya has worked on your team for four years. She's the one you can always count on: if someone wants a swap or a shift needs covering, she says yes. This month she's picked up four extra shifts, and it shows. The promotion labels went out with the wrong prices, a tray of out-of-date yoghurts was still on the shelf at opening, and a click and collect order went out three items short.
When you asked if she was alright on Saturday, she smiled and said, "It's fine, honestly." You don't think it is. You've asked her for ten minutes in the canteen before her shift on Thursday.
Why it's hard
Priya won't argue with you. That's the problem. If you go in quickly, list the mistakes and ask "Are you okay?", she'll say yes, apologise and promise to be more careful, and nothing will change. If you fix it for her by banning extra shifts, she'll feel she's in trouble for helping. A Green needs time, a calm pace and real permission to say no before they'll tell you what's actually going on. The skill is slowing down, asking open questions, and waiting through the silence instead of filling it.
Two-thirds of managers say they're uncomfortable communicating with the people they manage.
Lou Solomon, Harvard Business Review, March 2016 (survey by Interact and Harris Poll)What usually goes wrong, and what you'll practise
What usually goes wrong
- Opening with the list of mistakes, so she hears "you're in trouble" and stops listening.
- Asking yes or no questions ("Are you okay?") and taking "it's fine" at face value.
- Deciding the answer for her, like no more extra shifts, without asking what she'd change.
What you'll practise
- Opening calmly, saying she's not in trouble, and naming what you've noticed with care.
- Asking open questions, then giving her time to answer without jumping in.
- Making it safe to say no, and agreeing one change she chooses herself.
Read before you practise
Questions people ask
Should I just stop her doing extra shifts?
Not as your opening move. If you decide for her, she'll hear that she's done something wrong by helping. Ask what she'd change first. Most people stick to a limit they chose far better than one they were handed.
What if she keeps saying it's fine?
Don't argue with it, and don't accept it either. Slow down, say what you've noticed, and ask an open question. Then wait. A Green often needs a few seconds of quiet before the real answer comes.
Credits here are BOM Credits: packs from 10 for £3 to 100 for £20, and one code works across every coach tool on the site. Full refund within 14 days if you haven't used a credit. Anything wrong, email [email protected]. How credits work