The Art of Resetting Expectations Before Problems Start

By Nelson Fernandes • 4 minutes of reading • February 19, 2026

TL;DR

80% of the performance conversations you dread could be avoided entirely. The secret? Reset expectations before the gap appears — not after.

You’re about to have a conversation you’ve been putting off. Someone on your team isn’t meeting the standard. You’ve been patient. You’ve given them time. Now it’s time to address it.

But before you do — ask yourself one question: did you ever actually tell them what the standard was?

Not vaguely. Not once during onboarding. Not through a hint or a look. Did you say, clearly and specifically, “This is what I need, by when, to this level”?

In my years of managing teams, this is the pattern I see more than any other. The manager is frustrated. The team member is confused. And the gap between them isn’t about ability — it’s about clarity that was never given.

The Problem

Why Expectations Drift

Expectations don’t fail dramatically. They erode slowly. Here’s how it happens:

You set them once and assumed they stuck

You explained the standard during onboarding or at the start of a project. That was three months ago. Since then, context has changed, priorities have shifted, and the original briefing has faded. But in your mind, it still stands.

You tolerated small drift

A deadline slipped by a day. Quality dipped slightly. You let it go because it wasn’t worth a conversation. But silence is communication. They heard “this is acceptable.”

You used vague language

“I need this done properly.” “Can you handle this ASAP?” “Just make sure it’s good.” Every one of those sentences means something different to every person who hears it. Vague direction creates confident misalignment.

The standard existed in your head, not in words

You know exactly what good looks like. You can picture it. But you never translated that picture into language someone else could act on. The gap between your vision and their understanding is where performance issues live.

The Reset

How to Reset Expectations Without Creating Conflict

Resetting expectations isn’t a confrontation. It’s a recalibration. The key is to approach it as something you’re doing for the team, not to them.

Here’s the four-step method I use:

Name the standard specifically

Not “I need better quality.” Instead: “Reports need to include data sources, be proofread, and submitted by 4pm Thursday.” Specific enough that two people would agree on whether it’s been met.

Own the gap

Start with: “I realise I may not have been clear enough about what I need here.” This isn’t weakness — it’s leadership. It disarms defensiveness and opens the conversation instead of closing it.

Check for understanding

Don’t ask “Does that make sense?” — everyone says yes to that. Instead: “Can you walk me through how you’d approach this?” Their answer tells you whether the expectation actually landed.

Set a checkpoint

Don’t wait until the deadline to find out if it worked. Set a midpoint check-in: “Let’s touch base on Wednesday to see how this is tracking.” This protects both of you.

Scripts

What to Actually Say

✓ SAY THIS

→ “I want to reset on what I need here, because I don’t think I’ve been clear enough.”

→ “The expectation going forward is [specific standard] by [specific time].”

→ “What would help you meet this consistently?”

✗ AVOID THIS

✗ “You should know this by now.”

✗ “I’ve told you before.”

✗ “It’s common sense.”

The phrases on the left open a conversation. The phrases on the right shut it down and guarantee the person walks away defensive, not motivated.

From the Floor

What This Looks Like in Practice

Real Scenario

I once had a team where the same task was being done three different ways by three different people. Each person thought they were doing it correctly. None of them were wrong — they’d just never been given a single, clear standard.

The fix wasn’t a performance conversation. It was a ten-minute meeting where I said: “Here’s exactly how I need this done, here’s why, and here’s what good looks like.” Within a week, consistency improved dramatically. No conflict. No disciplinary. Just clarity.

— Nelson Fernandes

Your Next 24 Hours

One Thing to Do Right Now

Pick one recurring frustration on your team. Write down the exact standard you expect — specific enough that anyone reading it would know whether they’ve met it. If you can’t write it clearly, that’s your answer. The expectation was never set properly. Reset it tomorrow.