Part 2 of 5 · The 5R Leadership Framework by Nelson Fernandes
Most of the performance conversations you dread could be avoided. The secret? Reset expectations before the gap appears, not after.
You’re about to have a conversation you’ve been putting off. Someone on your team isn’t meeting the standard. You’ve been patient. You’ve given them time. Now it’s time to address it.
But before you do, ask yourself one question: did you ever actually tell them what the standard was?
Not vaguely. Not once during onboarding. Not through a hint or a look. Did you say, clearly and specifically, “This is what I need, by when, to this level”?
In my years of managing teams, this is the pattern I see more than any other. The manager is frustrated. The team member is confused. And the gap between them isn’t about ability, it’s about clarity that was never given.
Why Expectations Drift
Expectations don’t fail dramatically. They erode slowly. Here’s how it happens:
Signs Expectations Have Drifted
- You find yourself saying "I've told you before".
- Two people do the same task two different ways and both think they are right.
- Work comes back late or half done, and the person is surprised you are unhappy.
- New starters learn the standard from whoever trained them, not from you.
What the research says
Clarity is rarer than managers think. Gallup reports that only about half of employees strongly agree they know what is expected of them at work.
Source: Gallup, Many Employees Don't Know What's Expected of Them at Work (2015)
How to Reset Expectations Without Creating Conflict
Resetting expectations isn’t a confrontation. It’s a recalibration. The key is to approach it as something you’re doing for the team, not to them.
Here’s the four-step method I use:
What to Actually Say
The phrases on the left open a conversation. The phrases on the right shut it down and guarantee the person walks away defensive, not motivated.
Resetting Expectations in Practice: A Real Example
I once had a team where the same task was being done three different ways by three different people. Each person thought they were doing it correctly. None of them were wrong, they’d just never been given a single, clear standard.
The fix wasn’t a performance conversation. It was a ten-minute meeting where I said: “Here’s exactly how I need this done, here’s why, and here’s what good looks like.” Within a week, consistency improved dramatically. No conflict. No disciplinary. Just clarity.
When Unclear Expectations Are Behind the Problem
These situations often come back to expectations that were never reset. Start here if one of them sounds like your week.
How Resetting Expectations Connects to the Rest of the 5R
One Thing to Do Today When Standards Drift
Free Tools for Clear Expectations
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About to reset a standard with someone?
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Next in the 5R Series After Reset Expectations
Want the templates? The 5R Toolkit (£12) has priority templates, conversation scripts and the one-page reference.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does resetting expectations mean?
It means restating a standard clearly and specifically before a gap turns into a problem: what is needed, by when, and to what level. It is the second R in the 5R Leadership Framework.
How do I reset expectations without sounding harsh?
Own the gap first (“I may not have been clear enough about what I need here”), name the standard specifically, ask the person to walk you through how they will approach it, and agree a midpoint check-in.
How often should I reset expectations?
Whenever you notice drift, and always when a person, process or priority is new. Assume no standard stays understood forever: a short reset early saves a hard conversation later.
Is this the same as the 5R model of identity leadership?
No. The 5R programme in academic research is about building a shared team identity. The 5R Leadership Framework by Nelson Fernandes is a practical habit system for frontline managers: Reprioritise, Reset Expectations, Recognise, Resource and Role Model.
