TL;DR
Team conflict isn’t personal — it’s usually a signal that expectations weren’t aligned, recognition was uneven, or standards weren’t modelled consistently. Diagnose the system before you blame the people.
Two people on your team aren’t getting along. There’s tension. Maybe it’s visible — arguments, passive-aggressive emails, frosty silences. Maybe it’s subtle — one person avoiding the other, work getting bottlenecked, energy draining from the room.
Your instinct: get them in a room, mediate, tell them to sort it out.
That rarely works. Because you’re treating the symptom, not the cause. Most team conflict isn’t actually about the people involved. It’s about a system failure that’s creating friction between them.
Before you mediate, run the 5R diagnostic.
The 5R Diagnostic for Conflict
Which R Broke Down?
Are they competing for the same resources or priority?
When priorities aren’t clear, people create their own. Two people with different self-defined priorities will inevitably clash — not because they disagree, but because nobody told them what to align on.
Do they have different understandings of their roles or standards?
This is the most common cause. Person A thinks their job includes X. Person B thinks X is their responsibility. Nobody clarified. The overlap creates territorial friction that looks personal but is structural.
Is one person getting more recognition than the other?
Uneven recognition breeds resentment. If you consistently acknowledge one person’s contribution while overlooking the other, you’ve planted a seed of conflict. The overlooked person doesn’t blame you — they blame the person getting the attention.
Is a shared blocker creating frustration that’s being directed at each other?
When a system doesn’t work or information doesn’t flow, people look for someone to blame. If two team members depend on each other and the process between them is broken, the frustration gets aimed at the person — not the process.
Have you demonstrated how to handle disagreement constructively?
If you avoid difficult conversations, your team learns to avoid them too — until they explode. If you handle tension with composure and directness, your team learns that disagreement is safe. The way you resolve conflict is the template they follow.
After the Diagnostic
What to Do Next
Once you’ve identified which R broke down, the resolution becomes specific:
✓ IF EXPECTATIONS BROKE DOWN
→ Clarify roles and responsibilities in a meeting with both parties present.
→ “I haven’t been clear enough about who owns what. Let me fix that now.”
→ Put it in writing so there’s no ambiguity going forward.
✓ IF RECOGNITION BROKE DOWN
→ Acknowledge the overlooked person privately and specifically.
→ Rebalance visibility across the team over the next two weeks.
→ “I’ve not done a good job of acknowledging your contribution. That changes now.”
The point is this: don’t start by bringing two people together and asking them to “sort it out.” Start by identifying what you — as the leader — need to fix in the system first. Often, that alone resolves the tension.
Your Next 24 Hours
One Thing to Do Right Now
Think about the conflict on your team. Run through each R quietly. Which one do you think has broken down? Before you address the people involved, address the system failure. Fix the R first — then see if the conflict resolves on its own.
Put the 5R to Work
The 5R Leadership Toolkit includes conflict diagnostic templates, conversation scripts, and the one-page framework reference.
Get the 5R Toolkit — £12
Instant download · Templates + scripts + daily tracker
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